Earlier this month I talked about a flash fiction writing contest I will be taking part in come July. During this contest, I will be writing 1000 words, maximum, in two days, based only on a genre, a location, and an object.
To practice, I asked that people send me their suggestions. You can see my first flash fiction piece from last week here. Today I want to share with you my second attempt.
Enjoy, and don't forget: I would love some feedback!
My prompt:
1. Mystery 2. Detroit 3. bus pass
The hard plastic chair bit into Susan's leg, but she didn't shift. The group next to her was giggling and sniffling and well-wishing. Someone was on their way to something important, somewhere new.
Well, that they had in common, at least.
Susan had never even left Detroit before. But she didn't have a choice. And so, after her alarm went off this morning, she skipped her shower, skipped breakfast, skipped notifying her landlord. Instead, she shoved as much of her clothing into her old college duffel bag as would fit, slung it over her shoulder, and left.
She took cash, but left her wallet on the kitchen counter, next to the fruit that would spoil long before anyone would come looking for her.
The group was hugging now, and promising to stay in touch. Parents, grandparents, friends. Someone was well-loved. For a brief moment, Susan wondered what that would be like. She wondered what it would have been like to hug someone goodbye, to promise to write or call or whatever. But then she also wondered at the noise, the constant checking-in, and she shook her head. No thank you.
Thomas had been nice enough. She would give him that much. But, like most things, he hadn't lasted.
At first, things were good. He had this dirty blonde hair that was just a little long. Has. Not had. His hair was probably still blonde, wherever he was.
The group was moving away. They had never even glanced her way that whole time. Good. She had chosen the Rosa Parks Transit Center because of how big it was, even though it meant a cab ride that she couldn't afford. The big center meant lots of people, all busy, all looking at their phones and one another, no one noticing the smallish woman with mousy brown hair, sitting by herself, clutching the blue "Henry Ford Hawks" bag with faded letters and frayed seams.
The taxi meant she got here quickly, and only one person witnessed her voyage. So she had coughed up the extra money, and decided that she could skip lunch too.
Susan slipped her hand into her coat pocket, fingering the bus pass hidden there. She had it memorized by now, so she didn't even need to look at the details. When she had reached the transit center, and then the front of the line at the counter, she chose the bus leaving the soonest for the largest city. New York. She still had 15 minutes of sitting here and waiting, but once she was on her way, she knew she would breathe easier. This was the worst part: the waiting. The constant looking over her shoulder, watching the doors. Almost immediately after sitting down, two security officers had come towards her and she thought her heart stopped. They kept walking, though, and she let out the breath that she had been holding.
Thomas would have told her she was being silly. No one was chasing her. No one was looking. No one was hiding in the alleys and shadows.
"Of course he'd say that," Susan muttered. "Fat lot of good that whole idea did him though."
Every since Thomas disappeared, Susan had caught herself checking behind doors, looking behind her. At night, after the covers were pulled up to her chin, she would look at the space where his head used to lie, and feel her muscles relax. She knew was on edge most of the time, just waiting.
Of course, she told herself, he had probably just left her. Probably gotten sick of her nagging or whatever else men got sick of, and left. Found someone new, most likely. That was possible. Likely, even. But to just disappear?
The cops were no help. They asked her questions, of course, but with so many people out of work, and with her past record, well, she didn't blame them for not taking her seriously. They used words like "left". She used words like "disappeared."
Maybe she was tricking herself, like that detective what's-her-face said. Maybe she just didn't want to believe someone else had left her. Or maybe there had been an accident. That would even be better. But surely she would have heard...?
Susan closed her eyes only long enough to take a deep breath. She had been over this. Over and over and over this. The questions didn't change. The possibilities didn't change. And the answers - the lack of answers - didn't change. She knew, somewhere in the recesses of her logic, that the most likely scenario is that he left her.
At least, that's what it looked like to everyone else. That's what everyone else believed. He found someone prettier. Or maybe a job somewhere, and he didn't want to take her along. Yes, that's fine. Let them all believe that if they want to.
Ten minutes. Is that the right time to go meet the bus? Too early and she would seem too eager. Too late and she might actually miss it. Can't be the last one on, can't be the first. Ten minutes, though, that seemed okay. Not desperate, just prepared.
Thomas said she sometimes worried about everything too much. Was she so wrong to worry, though? Maybe if he planned a bit more he would be beside her now, gathering up his own bag, chatting about whether or not to buy another cup of coffee before they got on the bus.
But he wasn't.
And Susan knew that he wouldn't ever stand beside her again. She knew he would never buy another bad cup of coffee with her, wrinkle his nose at the taste, and keep drinking it anyway.
In fact, she knew he would never stand by anyone again. He would never buy coffee ever again. Let the rest of the world think he left her if they like. She knew.
She tugged at the strap of her bag, smiling at the scent of laundry detergent, and moved down the terminal.
Wow, 1000 words is not very many at all! This one came in at 999.
I have never written mystery before. How did I do? I would love some feedback!
Thank you for the suggestions. If you want to read more, check in for the next one in a few days. I promise to post them much more regularly now that school is done.
Please comment below. And don't forget to subscribe to get my monthly newsletter, coming out this Tuesday!