It's Thursday! You know what that means? Yes, one day closer to the weekend, obviously, but also that it's book review day!
At the beginning of this year, I read All is Not Forgotten, by Wendy Walker.
I meant to read this in 2017, as part of the one reading challenge I did not finish. A friend and coworker lent it to me that summer, and I did not pick it up until December, when I promptly set it down again. I hadn't made it five pages in.
But, on the last day before I went back to work after my Christmas break, I snuggled up with a new blanket that my grandma had crocheted me, and settled in with this disturbing tale.
This is not an easy story to read, but it is compelling. There are trigger warnings galore for this one, so please keep that in mind in this book. In fact, if you are particularly sensitive to this subject matter (sexual assault), I would advise against even reading this review, though I will of course not be graphic or detailed or anything close to vulgar.
In a small town, one of those places where nothing really ever happens, Jenny is a fifteen-year-old student at a house party. She steps out for a moment, and is brutally, horribly raped.
Immediately after she is found, beaten and broken and bruised, Jenny's parents are given a choice. They can agree to her receiving a treatment so she is unable to remember the event. The idea is that she will be able to move on with her life if she does not have any memory of the attack. But the decision must be made immediately.
Jenny's mother wants normalcy, and agrees to the treatment. Jenny's father wants revenge, and knows Jenny will not be able to testify or help find her attacker if he agrees, so he does not agree to the treatment initially. Eventually, though, Charlotte, Jenny's mother, wins out and Jenny is given the drug that erases her memory.
But, though her mind does not remember her attack, her body and her subconscious does, and this conflict within her sends her into a spiraling depression.
The story is told from one of my favourite points of view, first person from a minor or secondary character. In this case, that character is the psychiatrist who is hired to help Jenny, her parents, and a slew of other characters. Through his eyes, bits and pieces of the story are revealed, through twists and turns and ups and downs, until the end, when all is answered.
This was a tough book to review. There are some elements I loved. Much of the writing is beautiful prose, full of descriptions and ruminations. Most of the characters are intricate and complex. The story is compelling and fast-paced. From the beginning, I was involved in the characters and plot, wanting to know what was going on and who and how and why. I also love stories that raise bigger questions, and this one definitely does that.
The attack itself is described in detail. It is effective, not sensational, but it is not easy to read, especially if this subject is a trigger for you. Be very, very cautious in picking this one up.
I did have some issues with this book, the main one being the narrator himself as a character. I like the style of writing for him, and as I said, I like the particular point of view itself, but I really just didn't like Dr. Forrester. There was something icky about him, something about the way he talked about Jenny and his wife and other women that made me wrinkle my nose, particularly in the way he sort of tiptoes around victim-shaming a few times.
In the matter of discussing his wife, for example, he assures the reader that he loves her, before explaining how far intellectually superior he is. In fact, he says she "majored in English, which basically means she read a lot of novels." He then goes on to say, in a very self-congratulatory way, that he has "encouraged her to pursue a master's degree so we might engage in more sophisticated conversations." And further, after explaining that his son was at best a B+ student, and so would need to rely on his athletics to get to a good post-secondary school, he explains that he thought about this possibility before marrying his wife, since he assumed she would not be passing down any brilliance to their offspring.
He is pompous throughout, which sometimes fits his character, and other times just makes him seem unlikable in an "icky" way, not an interesting one.
I'm not sure that I can read thrillers. I had this one figured out fairly quickly; the red herrings were just not distracting enough for me.
Plus, at the end, the way things are wrapped up... well, I'll leave that for you to find out. (But if you do read this, I'd love to chat about it with you!)
Overall, though, the story is compelling, and complex. It's good, if a book about this subject can ever be said to be good. I'm probably giving it 3.5 or 4 stars of 5.
I was left wondering and thinking about the story and dilemmas after closing the book, and that is always a positive note.
I don't know what I would do, had I the choice to erase an awful moment from my memory. I don't think I would want to, but nothing so traumatic has ever happened to me, so perhaps I would. An awful event, but a good story.
Would you erase your memory of the worst event of your life, if you had the choice?
Comment below! And always feel free to contact me via my contact page, here. And don't forget to subscribe to my monthly newsletter, while you're there! Next Tuesday will be a full one, as I bid adieu to a busy year and wave hello to a new one!