Happy Book Review Day!
Typically I keep this blog pretty family friendly. I don't really watch my language, but I typically don't swear a lot or anything anyway. (Insert all the rants I give my students about context and vocabulary.)
But this is going to subside today, due to the nature, well, the title for sure, of this book.
So consider yourself warned.
I try to read something new and different every once in a while. Earlier this summer, when we were on our way to a folk festival, my husband tossed me a book to read that I bought him purely for the comical title.
I think he expected me to laugh it off, but that weekend, in between catching some great musicians, we cooled off by lying near a river, and I read that book cover-to-cover.
And now it's the subject of this week's book review.
When I read this book, other than chuckling a few times, I found that there was a lot that I agreed with, a lot about the way I already approach life.
When I told that to my husband, he suggested that maybe I should read it again.
I do tend to stress out a little too much, and probably 90% of that is caring about things beyond my control.
So I can see why the title of this book was probably a little ironic to me.
It's a funny title. And the introductory essay was funny.
Obviously, if you have an issue with language, don't pick this up.
Okay, now that that disclaimer is done, let's look at the book itself.
Essentially, Manson posits that the whole idea of "positive thinking" is not the key to happiness or success.
All over Facebook and Pinterest over the past couple years, I've seen the below image:
This is essentially the premise of this whole book.
The idea that we as a society have become consumed with caring about how our lives appear on social media, for example, is crazy. We should not, the author says, give a f*ck about that. But so many people do. We give all our f*cks to things that don't actually matter. We stress and drive ourselves crazy trying to avoid struggles. Instead, we should accept that struggles are a part of life, choose carefully what we are willing to care about, and only stress about that. Namely, Manson says, friends and family.
“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
Manson explores a few related topics in this book, as support for this basic main premise.
People who strive for perfection are doomed never to achieve it. They are, therefore, doomed to be unhappy. Those people give too many f*cks, about too many things that don't actually matter.
There is also a whole section on false memories, how we as humans are problematic. I do think this is probably the most, well, problematic part of the book. He uses examples of women who have falsely accused men of sexual assault as part of his support.
This is a major issue I have with this book. Not because I doubt that the examples he used happened; he even addresses my concerns, pointing the blame at all manner of competing factors. But in a world where thousands of assaults go unreported, only naming a few false accusations gives credence to all those worries that a woman who does speak up won't be believed.
Hopefully this is changing. I think it is. But I'm not sure why this was the focus of the section. Surely there are other examples of false memories (the topic in question in this section of the book) upon which he could have expounded? Even by keeping something else the focus, and mentioning these sexual assault cases in a smaller fashion, it would have given that element less prominence, while not discounting it as support.
I just think that section could have been handled differently.
Other than that, though, I did like this book, mostly because it us a way I already try to live my life. I don't think the concept is new, but I am always surprised to see that it actually is.So many people are always competing with each other, with their ideas of each other, anyway. I don't understand that in a lot of ways.
But there are some elements of my life where I know I need to apply this more. I do get worn down sometimes, caring too much about too many things. Especially too many things that don't really matter.
I'm working on it, and as I do, I do end up happier, more successful.
This book wasn't a revelation for me, but rather a reminder, especially as I prepare to head back to work, back to where I find myself giving a lot of f*cks about a lot of things that probably don't matter. (Though I really do need to colour-code all my notices on my whiteboards. I do.) I recommend it for the "millenial" generation especially; this book was made for that group for sure.
It is funny; I was chuckling through most of it. I do think it is strongest at the beginning, but loses its potency partway through. It's short though, and I easily started and finished it in an afternoon, lying by the river in the sun, not really "giving a f*ck" about much at all.
So this was technically the first "self-help" book I think I've ever read (except for "new student" or "new teacher" themed work-related ones).
Do you read things like this? I was hesitant but not disappointed.
What do you think of this idea of "not giving a f*ck"? Or rather, only giving appropriate levels of f*cks for appropriate things?
Let's see your comments below! And don't forget to subscribe to my monthly newsletter, that comes out the first Tuesday of every month.