I'm an introvert. Before I continue, let me clear up a few common misconceptions:
That does not mean that I don't like people. (Though, to be fair, sometimes I get pretty damn frustrated with them in general. Going to say that one more time. In general.)
It does not necessarily mean I am shy (though I am often that, too).
It means that I need some time on my own. It's how I gain my energy and perspective and all that jazz.
It means that what I do every day - teaching, being around people - is simultaneously incredibly rewarding and rather draining.
It means that I actually plan whole days where I do nothing but read. "Happy reading days." I schedule them and look forward to them. I even write them in my planner.
It also means that advertising and media and all that stuff for my writing is super intimidating.
Interesting that a relatively solitary activity perfect for an introvert like me - writing - is so closely connected to a very extroverted activity.
It can be tough to push through the awkwardness, and that is something I am trying to work on.
For example, when I finally decided to hit that little "publish" button on my site, I knew that there would be no point if I did not get the word out there.
So I posted on Facebook, and something similar to this is what went on in my head:
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. What if no one likes it?
Why would a bunch of people like it? You haven't given them anything to like yet.
Shoot. I didn't ask them to subscribe. Can I do that now? No that will bother them. I don't want to pester. I'll ask later.
Is asking later pestering even more?
I could ask them to like my Facebook author page. No wait, there isn't anything on there yet. Why would they like that? They can just stick with my regular Facebook page.
I don't want to bug them. Nice enough for them to even check it out.
Oh my god! Someone subscribed! Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?
Wait. Now more people know. I know that is the whole point, but they could ask questions. Students will likely find out. Am I making my life unnecessarily complicated?
Probably.
I am getting all these sweet messages. What if they don't like what I write? I can handle random people not liking it, but these first people, these friends, what if they don't like it? They would never say anything, but they still might not like it. And then they might feel totally uncomfortable around me. And I would hate to make them feel uncomfortable.
Neurotic, right? So I am introverted, and awkward, and writing, and now asking people to read about all of that.
So what makes it possible?
The Internet.
That means I can do pretty much everything from home. I am able to be social in real life, but it is easier if I prepare for it in advance. Through the powers of email and websites and social media, though, I know I can communicate and work on things from the comfort of my home and my pajamas.
Organization.
By planning things in advance, I can stay focused (more or less) on everything I both need and want to do in my life. And then I am able to organize the social things I know I will need to do, and then those things become things I also want to do. I generally can do the whole outside-world thing if I mentally prepare myself. Organization helps with that.
The idea of "fake it 'til you make it".
Maybe if I was a little less honest in this blog, I would be better at this part.
I started calling myself a writer when I passed the halfway-done mark in my first draft. If I think that way, I can work towards accepting myself that way, and then maybe others can one day see me that way, too.
I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. (And if I don't think I can, pretend I do!)
Deep breaths.
If I know these are just things I have to do, then it easier to do them. Take a minute, take a breath, and plunge in.
Nice friends.
Hopefully who can walk the line between honesty and support.
Time to myself.
I need to recharge.
Pretend I'm talking to one person.
Someone who I like to talk to, who I trust. My husband, maybe, or a close friend. Or even talking to myself. Though I am (hopefully!) my own worst critic, if I am just talking to myself or a trusted friend, putting myself out there is not overwhelming.
Glasses of wine and cups of tea.
And so many books!
Taking things one step at a time.
This is the big one. I am working on it. I have detailed lists (going back to that organization thing!) and if I work through each step, maybe that whole conversing-with-the-rest-of-the-world thing won't be that intimidating, after all.
What about you? Any tips for the introverted people out there trying to promote themselves?
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