It is nearly 5 pm on a random Sunday.
It is no one's birthday. Mothers' Day is still a week off. There is no company here. I am in a onesie, alternating between marking and writing. My dogs are both completely passed out on our couch near me. There is a laundry basket here, half of the clothing folded and organized on the ottoman, the other half still in the basket.
There is a turkey in the oven.
We happen to like turkey, and see no reason why it should wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Sometimes, when we are having dinner at my awesome in-laws' house, they will randomly bring out the fancy china place settings.
At times, I will randomly wear the jewelry I wore at my wedding.
My point is, why do people wait only for special occasions for things they like?
I get not wanting to wear my fanciest heels to work every day, but at the same time, if I never wear them at all, what is the point of them taking a place in your closet?
I get not wanting to jump on the furniture in your nice, "company" living room after you get in from gardening, but at the same time, if you never go in that room, is it really reflective of your home?
I get not drinking the fancy wine or champagne even once a month, but by leaving it in your cupboard, won't you forget about it, covered in dust, and losing its taste?
Our lives are made up of big moments, yes - weddings, births, deaths, graduations. But it is the little day-to-day moments that matter. That is what I write about.
The graduations is a celebration, yes, but it is the hours spent studying, the assignments, lectures, group projects, debates, homework... that actually matter. It is the lessons that are learned, the dealings with stress, setbacks, rewards, and growth. That is the stuff that matters.
The wedding doesn't happen without the random daily chats about work and errands. It doesn't happen without the time spent together, some of that time not being pretty. For me, I loved my wedding - I did. We tried to make it reflective of our lives and our relationship. But you know what I love more? Pizza party movie nights with my husband. Ice cream on my birthday, right at midnight. Getting my neck rubbed when I have a headache. Arguments and reconciling. Continuous chats throughout every day. Long talks about the world and books and movies and television. Experiencing and seeing things with my best friend. The wedding is awesome. The relationship is more awesome.
So why do we wait for those extraordinary, "big" moments? My relationship is not determined by the one event. It is all the daily things. An education is not determined by a graduation; it is the daily attendance and work and thought at the school. A life is not determined by the dates of birth and death, but rather all of the bits and pieces in between the bookends of those dates.
Why do we neglect and ignore those moments so frequently?
I am resolved not to let all of these everyday moments go past without some sort of recognition. I am not saying we need to throw a big party everyday. I am saying, however, that if we are always waiting for those "big moments", we spend most of our lives waiting, and miss out on all of the stuff that actually matters.
We always wait for those "somedays" and "one days", and let all those "everydays" pass by us.
That is the reason I started writing. What great moment was it for which I was waiting? Why was I waiting to put myself out there? Why was I waiting to try?
And so, I stopped waiting.
And tonight, we eat a turkey dinner.
Because why wait for that, either?