Writing is a funny thing.
And writer's doubt is a real part of that.
What is that, you may ask? Well, it's - not surprisingly - exactly what it sounds/reads like:
Doubt writers have related to writing.
It's a real thing that I am sure every writer has at some point or another.
Every.
Single.
Writer.
If you aren't careful, those doubts creep in and gnaw away at you and slow progress or push the brakes altogether. And then there you are, spinning around in place, doubting and doubting and doubting, so every doubt becomes further entrenched in that downward spiral, and then it all becomes self-fulfilling and...
Well, it just continues on.
I bet, writers out there, it's happened to you.
Even Stephen King has it, and that dude is successful. Nah, he's Successful. Capital S.
“I'm afraid of failing at whatever story I'm writing – that it won't come up for me, or that I won't be able to finish it.” (Stephen King)
For me, it's the feeling that sometimes what I'm writing is absolute garbage. Maybe I'm NOT any good at this. But then, usually, I read something I wrote, or someone gets back to me with a positive comment or review, and I think, yeah, I can do this.
But a week or two ago, I had the worst case of writer's doubt I've had.
Within two weeks:
- I had to step away from my writer's group (don't worry, I have a whole, albeit short, blog post explaining that later)
- I received a rejection from a short story contest
- I didn't make it past the first round in a microfiction contest (Did you read The Dare? It was for that...)
- I realized how long it had been since I wrote a blog post
- I didn't pick up a single book to read for fun
- I found out I could not sell at the local Christmas markets due to scheduling conflicts
- I realized I hadn't progressed in my new novel since the end of October (which isn't that weird for me, since I write in chunks during breaks from school, but it FELT significant at the time)
That last parenthetical point there, though, IS the point:
It was not weird or significant, but it FELT that way.
It felt like, what is the point? Why bother? Maybe, when I'm not making sales, when I'm not getting reviews, it's because what I'm writing is not worth reading.
But then, as we all have to do on occasion, I gave myself a bit of a stern talking-to. I reasoned everything out.
And this is what I reasoned:
- Time is a constraint I cannot do anything about. It happens, and all of the experiences and ways I spend my time make me, me, and part of that identity is yes, writing.
- Rejections happen. All the time. I know this and usually they don't bug me. This one did; okay. Try again next time.
- I got the feedback for The Dare. It was a good story; I know that, but the feedback essentially criticized it for being closer to a horror story than a suspense story. And that's fair, so okay. That didn't mean I was a poor writer; it meant I made some poor choices for that particular context.
- I planned out and started some blog posts. I can change and adjust scheduling posts as they make sense for me.
- I allowed myself to be sad or disappointed about not reading, and determined to do better in the future.
- I don't need to be at every market to be known as a local writer. I might miss some on occasion; I will be able to do others.
- I set a goal to do some more marketing, to hopefully result in reviews or sales.
- I reminded myself about the upcoming Christmas break, when I could spend some serious writing time. I even went back and read some of the new book, and was pleased with where I'd gotten so far.
For me, reasoning things out and allowing myself to not "do it all" was the key to dealing with the bad self-doubt. And I'm not fully over it, but I'm very much improved.
Other writers have different suggestions. Want some of those good tips? This article, called "Dealing with Self-Doubt" is a good one.
At the end of the day, the best advice seems to be "keep on keeping on", and I'm okay with that. So, I will.
Any tips or suggestions on dealing with Writer Doubt? Love to hear (well, read) them! And don't forget to subscribe to my occasional newsletter!